I can’t let go
that feeling of being so alone
when I know I’m surrounded by friends and family.
I know that these people who are in my life know.
They know that I know that this isn’t forever
and yet I can’t allow myself to let it go.
The infinite. The forever. That sense of swallowing
In a blink. A passive-aggression choke.
I walk these halls, beyond corpses, students, professors
and coffee disguised as addiction.
I was lost as I stumbled down corridors
past the Hip-Hop and Dubstep drops
and I still try to find myself
in this mess you call life.
I cower from it. Like bed stains and pill bottles
and empty, whiskey voices that haunt my past.
I cower from it like all those dreams of suicide and white-washed walls
and I know.
I know and you know and the world knows and some god,
out there in the cosmos, sipping on the essence of life,
planning the next big paradigm, like the Greeks and the Christians,
yeah he knows
this isn’t forever.
This is just a far off dream.
You, standing there with your sneer,
your smeared makeup and hollow pens jotting down Dawkins,
you call yourself a free thinker,
You stamp out faith like an insect, under your heel
and you have found out the truths of all the worlds.
Everything is your motherfucking oyster, isn’t it?
You fight the nightmare that is you, hidden behind songs and ideas
and philosophies that everyone else, just like you, hides behind.
You challenge reality with your claims of:
Religion causes War.
Free Thought is a Prototype.
The World Order is Corrupt.
The Government lies.
Capital letters hold Meaning.
Child is your mind and I’m trying to accept that
the idea of free thinking, yeah, it comes with it’s own rule book.
A list of things to and to not think.
And there are plenty of your kind to last us mere mortals a lifetime.
But in the end, there is nothing new under the sun.
As we proceed through the depth of our self-loathing
all that is left is to masturbate the mind and act like its
a normal concept of consequence.
And that’s a fact!